Wednesday, October 21, 2009

All Alone

It was a strange feeling, to suddenly realize I was all alone.

Glen had gone to run errands, Marie was at work and Emmie had gone to a school function. Only Sparrow and I were left at the house. As I took her for a walk, I realized it was one of the rare times when I found myself alone. Not one of the rare times during the day when I found myself alone, one of the rare times in my life when I found myself alone.

I lived with my parents until I was twenty-one, when I married Glen. Two years (minus 9 days) later, the babies started coming. Except for a couple business trips I had to take to Dallas, Glen and I have never been apart. We never went on trips without our children, we preferred to stay home with them rather than travel without them.

Over ten years ago, a neurosurgeon told me the worst thing I could do for my neck was to drive. Since then I have driven myself to very few places. Instead, my husband graciously provides chauffeur services for me. So I find myself alone very rarely, even driving to work.

I am not a person who dislikes solitude. Being basically shy and introverted, the peace and quiet solitude brings suits my personality well. It reminds me of how much like my father I am, while I know I am so much like my mother as well.

Being alone, though, can be a fearful thing. Perhaps if I didn't have the company of the world's most wonderful beagle, Sparrow Jean, the Wonder Dog (as I have begun to call her lately), I would feel the fear of aloneness more.

The truth of the matter, however, is that I can never be alone. The Lord Jesus lives inside of me and I live and move and have my being in Him. I am surrounded, inside and out with the Lord. I can never leave Him and He will never leave me. Never, ever will I be alone. No matter where I go, no matter what situation in which I find myself, He will be there with me.

What comfort! What encouragement! What peace! Never alone.

"For He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
Hebrews 13:5

No comments: