Friday, December 10, 2010

Language of Love -- December 10, 2010

The Friday entries of The Powder Room, called  

The Language of Love
will be dedicated to communication between husbands and wives.  Our marriages, viewed through the context of the Scriptures, primarily exist to express the heavenly marriage of Christ and His church.

Friday, December 10, 2010

We my husband and I were dating, every Friday he would bring me a single rose.  My favorite were the deep orange Tropicana ones.  I loved this simple, but romantic, expression of his love.  When we became engaged, however, I noticed that the roses didn't appear anymore.  After several weeks, I asked Glen where my roses were.

He replied, "Your roses are on your finger now."  The smaller expressions of love had been replaced with a bigger, and more expensive one.

Tropicana RoseImage by jessica.diamond via FlickrExpressions of love are an important part of the communication of marriage, but it is important that we make sure what we think communicates love, actually does so.

I have taught my children for years that the greatest way to say "I love you"  is not by those three little words, but instead by asking, "How can I help?"

I had heard story after story from wives or husbands who would be busy working in the house or the yard, and the spouse would be watching television or talking on the phone.  Then as the busy one passed by the other would throw out the obligatory "I love you!"

I doubt the person doing all the work felt very loved at that moment.  How much better it would be if instead they had offered to help and shared a heavy load.  That would have been a much greater expression of love.

Sometimes love can be expressed in small matters of thoughtfulness.  I am not a morning person but my job requires that I get up at 4:30 in the morning.  My husband shows his love for me each morning when he brings me a cup of coffee as I am getting dressed.  While he is very good at telling me often how much he loves me, the cup of coffee is a tangible expression of that love.  It shows he was thinking about me enough to do something, to go out of his way to care for me.  I heard of one spouse who, while his wife was in the shower, put her towels in the dryer so they would be warm for her when she stepped out. 

Finding thoughtful expressions of love is an individual matter. The important thing is to find out what is an expression of love to your spouse.  It may be changing a dirty diaper, or keeping up with an item they have trouble locating. We should each ask the Lord to reveal to us those things which would be an expression of love and thoughtfulness to our spouse. Finding these things and fulfilling them can be great acts of joy not only to our spouse, but to ourselves as well.  In loving our spouses in this way, we are honoring, loving and worshiping our Lord, bringing joy to His heart and to our own.

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